Just Breathe

It happens out of nowhere. She is caught off guard. Why is this happening? This shouldn't be happening. Not now. Not this way. It's too much. It's all too much.

And all she can do is watch herself react.

She feels it and yet she does not feel. She sees it and yet she does not see.

She is watching as the sequence of events unfolds in front of her: Isn't this interesting? Watch what she is doing. She is laughing. Why in the world is she laughing? This isn't funny, is it? And now she is crying. How can she so quickly go from laughing to crying? Her body is shaking. She is having difficulty breathing. She is talking. She is processing. Is she actually processing? Does she realize this is her real life? Can she feel it? Does she understand it? Does she know this is happening to her?

No. It's too much. It's all too much.

Breathe. Just breathe. Is she breathing? Think. Just think. Can she think?

This isn't real. This can't be real. Is this real?

Now what?

How does she move forward when her body won't let her feel? How does she process when her mind won't let her think? How does she decide what to do when none of it feels real?

What feels real? A sight? A sound? A smell? What is real?

Find it. Focus on it. And breathe. Breathe. Breathe.

Real life will come. Decisions will be made. But for now, just breathe.