Embracing our Stories

When you attend your first therapy session (or two), you will most likely be asked to provide a history so your therapist can get to know you better - a history of your family, childhood, and significant life events. For most people this can be a daunting and overwhelming task for multiple reasons. What do I include? What if I don't remember? And typically most overwhelming - What if I don't want to tell?

If we are honest, when asked to tell the story of our lives, most of us will want to leave some details out. The embarrassing childhood behaviors, the rebellious teenage acts, the abuse we endured and believe was our fault, and the addictions we developed and perhaps still have. Those we will keep to ourselves.

Why? Perhaps because over time we have come to believe those hidden details reveal something deeply shameful about us. Something too dark and too disgusting that we believe the only way to survive is to pretend those things never happened.

But the truth is, the things kept in secret often have the most destructive control over us. Shame over our actions leading to depression. Pain over the abuse we endured leading to addiction. Broken relationships. Suicidal thoughts. Isolation. Anxiety... We keep silent because we think it will make us better, but the reality is our silence makes us lonely, depressed, and sick.

So what if the secrets in our stories were brought into the light?

What if in telling our stories we found that what we believed about ourselves and our experiences is not actually true?

What if our stories actually contain within them beauty and purpose?

What if WE actually contain beauty and purpose?

And what if in telling our stories there is healing and freedom to be found?

Then would you want to tell your story? I hope eventually the answer is a resounding: YES. Because I think what you might find is your story, all parts of your story, weave a wonderful tale that has meaning, purpose, light, and beauty.

"Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy - the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light" (Brene Brown).